Part of a Dream

Alright, time for some more of my writing. I do ask, please, that people leave comments on this work. This is an original of my own and the concept came out of a dream which I had about a year ago. After much prompting from my sister I started writing it, finding the process a lot more enjoyable than I had first expected it to be. Originally my sister and I were in the places of the main characters, only one of which of shown in the following extract.

(self-made cover for this story)

We rounded a corner and he slammed on the brakes. There was a car in the middle of the road.

“Stay in the car.” He said and reached across me into the glove box. He pulled out a gun and tucked it into the back of his pants. I undid my seat belt but did as he asked. He got out of the car and about thirty people walked around from the far side of the other car.

“Shit.” I said and a helicopter flew overhead. Barney looked up at it and shook his head. It disappeared into the clouds. Suddenly there was a huge crash from the door behind me and the car shook. I whirled around to see a man trying to open the door. I panicked. All I had was a pocketknife.

I scrambled out of the drivers side and ran in the opposite direction of all the people. I realised moments too late that I would have been safer in the car than out here. It only took me half a second too long to realise that most of these people were vampires. If help didn’t come Barney and I were history.

The man who'd tried to get into the car appeared in front of me when I was about two hundred meters from the car. He grabbed my shirt and lifted me up.

“Not even your friends from the Vatican can help you now.” He said. I screamed and my crucifix spilled out of my shirt. It flared to life. There was myth about crosses glowing around vampires but this was the first that I had seen it. He dropped me and scrambled back.

Somewhere to the left I heard a helicopter land. I got up and kept running, pulling out my pocketknife from my pocket. I flipped it open, ready to use it if I had to. Another man that I didn’t know stopped in front of me.  He grabbed me around the waist then threw me to the ground too fast for me to react.

He kicked the knife out of my hand then pinned me.

“You pissed them off, so now they’re giving you to me. All young and fresh” He said and Castiel threw him away from me. I got up. The man looked over at Castiel and got into a defensive crouch.

“Get to the helicopter.” Castiel ordered and I nodded. I could just see the outline of it in one of the paddocks only about fifty meters away.

I ran and clambered over the fence that stood between safety and me. Lee came sprinting into view. He saw me and relaxed a bit.

“Come on!” He screamed and helped me climb into the back of the helicopter. He strapped me in and scrambled into the front. Slowly we lifted off and flew towards the action. He turned a floodlight on and everyone froze except those who were expecting it.

Everyone who was on our side managed to break away from the fight and Lee flew the Helicopter low enough for them all to jump in. We took off before anyone was even buckled in. Zebra put a set of headphones over my ears that had a little microphone thing on them that sat by my mouth. Castiel walked into the front and talked to Lee for a moment.

Zebra strapped himself in across from me and Barney sat on my left. Everyone put the little headset like things on and Castiel sat down to my right.

“Why did you get out of the car?” He asked but I couldn’t tell if he was annoyed or happy.

“They were trying to get in. I panicked.” I said and he nodded.

“What I don’t get is why they’re after her.” Lee said over the headset.

“She’s too good at identifying what they are, and too innocent for her own good.” Castiel said and he sounded annoyed now.

“Hello! I can hear you.” I said and Castiel looked at me a bit disapprovingly. I refused to cower under his gaze. This wasn’t my fault.

“Why don’t you try cutting her a little slack boss? She’s handling this better than any of us would have before our training.” Barney said and I smiled a bit over at him. He nodded his head in recognition.

“The sooner she’s trained the better; she’s a danger to us all until then.” Zebra said quietly and I looked at him. He looked back at me a bit hostile. I looked down at the floor. I didn’t understand why he was looking at me like that.

“What did that thing say to you before I came alone?” Castiel asked and I looked at him. His face was blank, void of any emotion.

“That I pissed them off so they gave me to him.” I said and he watched me carefully.

“Is that all?” He asked, his voice and expression were back to being blank. I thought about it for a moment. It was all that was relevant, right?

“Pretty much” I said and swallowed. Castiel shook his head. I looked back at the floor.

“Why did they send so many?” Lee asked quietly.

“Cause they didn’t want her slipping through their hands again.” Zebra said coarsely.


Please comment on this, no matter what your veiws on this work is.

Olaf's Match

So, as I posted in my introduction, I'm going to link some of my writing for people to sample. Please take the time to read and comment on it, I really would appreciate it and heed the advise in my next writing or editing endeavors. The following extract is actually from a fan fiction based on the Anita Blake series by Laurel k Hamilton. I did start this before I had finished reading all the published works within this series so some information may not be 100% in concordance with the series.

Peter started walking down the hallway as I came out of the room and he stopped just out of hearing distance from all the bedrooms.

“Are you f-ing insane?” He said in a harsh whisper.

“Peter!” I said but it was all I said, did he know what Olaf was like?

“I guess not. I just never thought you would be into that shit. Did you know that he’s been to prison for rape? Did you know that he’s done a lot worse to women with the same general appearance that you have?”

“Yes, believe it or not, I did know, Ted made sure of that. But I don’t care and you have no right to question anything I do.” I said harshly.

“Why can’t I question it? He will kill you. You do know that right? He will cut you into tiny little shreds and leave them to rot. If it’s a death wish that you have then get a gun not a serial murdering rapist.” Peter was spitting the words into my face from only inches away.

I took a steadying breath and was about to retaliate when Edward called from behind us. “What’s going on you two?” I turned slowly and I knew my face would be pissed. Edward looked slowly from me to Peter.

“How could you let that monster near her?” He said pointing at Olaf as he opened the door.

Olaf’s shoulders clenched and his face tightened but I had a point to make. I strolled up to him, purposefully adding an extra roll to my stride. I grabbed Olaf’s shirt and pulled his face down to meet mine. I placed my hand on either side of his face and kissed him slowly, thoroughly. Olaf looked startled when I pulled away from him.

Suddenly Olaf grabbed my shoulders and spun me around so that I was behind his back. I peaked around his broad chest and Peter had a gun in his hand. It was pointed squarely at Olaf’s heart, where only moments before my head had been. Edward had a gun out too but it wasn’t pointed.

“Put the gun away Peter.” Edward said cautiously.

Peters gaze never moved away from Olaf. I started to move from behind Olaf’s back but he put his arm out to stop me. I gently moved his arm out of the way. I walked back to Peter. I stood right in front of him and still he never looked away from Olaf.

“Put the gun away Peter, please.” I said and he started to lower his arm but it quickly snapped back up to be aimed at Olaf’s chest. “Please Peter, don’t be an idiot. If Olaf was going to kill me he would have done it already, he’s had plenty of chances.” I said and this time Peter did look at me. Oops, too much information.

When Peter didn’t put away the gun I sighed and started to walk back to Olaf. Peter’s hand snatched out and grabbed my wrist. Olaf moved so fast that I didn’t notice the gun until it was pointed at Peter’s chest. Edward raised his gun and aimed it at Olaf.

“Let go of me Peter.” I said in a horse whisper. Peter just looked at me. That look said it all. He would only let me go if someone made him.

“Let her go.” Olaf growled angrily. Peter’s grip on my wrist loosened slightly and I twisted it and smashed it down. His hold was broken and I stepped away from him slowly, rubbing my wrist. I walked backwards until I bumped into Olaf’s chest. I never took my eyes off Peter. Olaf put his arm around my shoulders and put the gun away.

“What the” Donna said coming down the hallway. Edward put his gun away and so did Peter. “What’s going on?” Donna asked and I looked at her.

“Olaf and I are going to go stay in a hotel.”

“There’s no need for that.” She said sincerely.

“Trust me; Peter has made it very clear that there is.” I said and Donna turned an astonished expression to Peter.

Please, please comment and help me expand on technique and style.